The Joy of the Lord is Your Strength

 I was up at 3 a.m. this morning, making herbal "Sleep Tea" that I had bought from a friend-of-a-friend, after waking up at 2 and having a fruitless hour of trying to fall back asleep.

I grabbed this mug because of its large size, but seeing what it said reminded me of a post I've been meaning to write!

Back on Jan. 19th, I was responsible for leading the daily prayer time at my workplace. I had contacted some of our workers for prayer requests, but only received two responses - not enough to keep us occupied for half an hour.

Then I looked at my Verse-a-day calendar on my desk, and it had the verse above -- and so I went with a bit of a longer devotional before the prayer time.

So, Nehemiah 8:10 - we all know it, even if we don't know the reference. "The Joy of the Lord is your strength." A positive, encouraging verse, right? Yes, but even more so if you know the context!

Anyone out there know the context of this verse?

Anyone?

{There was silence when I asked this question in the devotional time.}

So I took us back to the context, something I had noticed a few years ago (probably when I was reading through Nehemiah!) and that has stuck with me every time I've seen or heard that verse since.

After Nehemiah and company had rebuilt the wall of Jerusalem, there came a day when Ezra read the law to the people from morning until midday, with other priests there to explain the meaning (Neh. 8:1-7).

Nehemiah continues: 

 

"They read from the book, from the Law of God, clearly, and they gave the sense, so that the people understood the reading. And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, 'This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep.' For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law" (8:8-9).

 

I don't know about for you, but this doesn't seem to me like the context for a go-to voice on Joy!

But that's not all - look at the majority of verse 10, the part that never gets quoted: 

 

"Then he said to them, 'Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength'" (Neh. 8:10).

Nehemiah and Ezra shared this line with a people who were grieving over the ways they had fallen short of what the law required!!

As New Covenant believers, we are no longer under the same set of laws and demands that the Israelites were. But what can we learn from their example?

I think too often we use this verse as a band aid or a somewhat trite expression to try and encourage someone. But what if, to really help our friends, we urged them to acknowledge and confess the ways they have fallen short, and then to find new strength in the joy of God’s forgiveness? What if we made confession like the Israelite's a regular practice among ourselves?

Then I walked through the definitions of 'confession,' from good ol' dictionary.com:

noun​

1. acknowledgment; avowal; admission: a confession of incompetence.​
2. acknowledgment or disclosure of sin or sinfulness, especially to a priest to obtain absolution.​
3. something that is confessed.​
4. a formal, usually written, acknowledgment of guilt by a person accused of a crime.​
5. Also called confession of faith: a formal profession of belief and acceptance of doctrines, as before being admitted to church membership.​

As a Protestant, I don't believe that confession to a priest is necessary to obtain absolution. And, I had forgotten about the positive sense of confession, indicated in the 5th point.

I then read the following prayer of confession from a church in Indiana, a combination of two separate ones the pastor had shared on the church's blog:

 

"Holy and merciful God, in your presence we confess our sinfulness, our shortcomings, and our offenses against you. You alone know how often we have sinned in wandering from your ways, in wasting your gifts, in forgetting your love. Have mercy on us, O Lord, for we are ashamed and sorry for all we have done to displease you. Cleanse us from all our offenses, and deliver us from proud thoughts and vain desires. With lowliness and meekness may we draw near to you, confessing our faults, confiding in your grace, and finding in you our refuge and strength; through Jesus Christ your Son. Amen."

And then I just opened up the floor for a couple people to pray their own personal prayers of confession, and then we launched into praying for a couple of our workers.

So, thanks for reading!! This is something that has been meaningful to me--as I said, for a couple years--and having thought through it a little more concretely recently, I wanted to share it on here!

Joy Doesn't Come from Smooth Sailing

I’m in a weekly study of joy, just going through the Bible looking at each mention of the word and studying/reflecting on the context of the rest of the chapter. I’ve definitely been enjoying this time with a couple other ladies from my church!

This past Saturday we looked into Psalm 105. The mention of joy is near the end of the chapter, but the verses before definitely lead up to it. So here are my reflective notes on Psalm 105….

105:1-6 – The call/application: To be in relationship with God! Speaking to Him and speaking about Him to others. Seeking Him out, and remembering His marvelous works. And thus the rest of the Psalm!

105:7-12 – God’s character, specifically focused on the promise He made and His commitment to keeping it.

105:13-15 – Historical overview: God’s protective hand over His people—not allowing the kings of the nations to harm them.

105:16-22 – Joseph—tested by the LORD until the time was right for him to take charge.

105:23-25 – Israel’s time in Egypt—numbers increased, but so did hatred of them.

105:26-36 – The plagues sent against Egypt, to compel them to let God’s people go.

105:37-41 – God’s provision for His people during the Exodus—booty, a cloud/fire protection, food, and water.

Why all of this? Verse 42 points back to verse 8—God had made a promise to Abraham, and He remembered it!

105:43 – Thus “He brought out His people with joy, His chosen ones with gladness.” It took centuries of time and apparent setbacks before the right time came for God’s plan and purposes to be fulfilled. Joseph didn’t feel joy when he was sold into slavery, but that was a step in the joyful Exodus. Four hundred years of Israelite slaves didn’t experience the joy of release—but their descendants did.

105:44-45 – God did all that so His people would receive the land of the Gentiles and keep His law there [which they did NOT do very well!].

This chapter was a good reminder for me this week. Tomorrow marks a year since I left Uganda, and that anniversary could get me stuck in grieving what I miss and what I lost last year. But this chapter is a reminder to me that God doesn’t just work joyful things through the good times. No, He is working out His plan in ALL things, no matter how hard/bad they look or feel to us at the time.

I find it interesting that, unlike a sermon, this Psalmist started off with the application. Verse 1-6 are full of commands: to sing, to glory in His name, to remember His wondrous works. And yes, sometimes that includes remembering the hard times, as this Psalm does—but to do so with eyes focused on the ways that God fulfills His promises and redeems the suffering into joy!!!

So that’s my goal for tomorrow and this week: to remember His faithfulness and the joy that He works out through the suffering and the scars.

Fresh Love

{I’ve stolen/borrowed this title, as you’ll see later – so I can’t take credit for it!}

This past Thursday evening, I hit a slump of discouragement. There are several probable factors that created it, but in the end God used it to once again remind me how constantly and desperately I need Him. He is all-sufficient, if only I would have the faith to trust and rely on Him rather than myself.

Since then, I have spent some time reading Nehemiah 8 and 9. Those two chapters focus on the reading of the law to the Jews who had returned after exile, and of their response to it. The people were grieved when the law was read and explained by the Levites – and though they were encouraged to not grieve because “the joy of the LORD is your strength” (Neh. 8:10), they later returned to pour their hearts out in confession before God.

During this gathering, the Levites stood up before the people and recounted the history of Israel poetically – but what I found most interesting as I read it this morning is that they started off by blessing God and worshipping Him. The tale they told was one of Israelite rebellion and unfaithfulness, but it was framed and laced throughout with the mercy of God and His worthiness to be obeyed and praised.

As I closed my Bible and prepared to get ready for church, a thought flitted through my mind; something about feeling as though I was just slogging through, trying to do what I knew I should, but often without my heart fully into it. Little did I know then how that very thought would tie into church.

I arrived at church a little early. While sitting there listening to the choir finishing their practice for the service, I watched as a couple of our church leaders brought out the elements for communion. Somehow, that simple sight awakened emotion in me, and a tear had to be wiped from my cheek.

A little later in the service, the Scripture passage for the day’s sermon was read, Revelations 2:1-7. The meat of those verses hit me right between the eyes. Christ, speaking to the church in Ephesus, says:

“I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: have forsaken the love you had at first” (Rev. 2:2-4).

Yes, I thought. Yes, that’s exactly it. That could nearly just as well be speaking about me.

My mind flashed back to a recent group discussion in which I was simultaneously frustrated and prideful. I found myself unduly frustrated with others for not having a working understanding of theological principles which I’ve had something of a grasp on for almost as long as I can remember. And thus the pride came into play as well.

I try to work hard and perform well, often for the sake of giving glory to Christ. I make an effort to hold fast to Scripture, making it my foundation, learning so that I may I understand truth and discern the lie. I do my best to press through times of discouragement.

But where is the love in my heart?

Do I do all these things merely because I am supposed to? Or because my heart is on fire with a love and passion for God and His glory?

While I desire the latter, the former is often more accurate. Just trying to slog through life, to get through one more day.

I don’t want to live like that.

I want to return to the first love of Christ. The love that came, not because of anything I had done but because of what He did. The fresh love, as the preacher put it, that flows from Him through me—of which I am merely a channel, not a creator.

During the sermon, the pastor for the day clarified and reechoed many of these thoughts which had recently been swirling, half-formed, in my mind. In his conclusion, he read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a. Reminding us that without love, we are nothing. Reminding us of just what kind of love Christ has for us.

As we took communion, our worship leader played a song that had really struck me in church a couple weeks ago. I munched my small square of bread and drank my small cup of juice, remembering what Christ has done for me; remembering that all is by grace.

And so a new day continues, a new hour lies before me. May it be filled with a fresh love for Christ and for others, by His grace.

The Story of the Bracelets

This morning, shortly after getting up, I put my laundry in basins to soak for a while before washing it by hand. But before I did, I first removed the six handmade bracelets from my right wrist so I could wash them too. Usually, I wear them 24/7 which means I have a “watch tan” on both wrists!

I’ve been meaning to write the story of these bracelets for a while, and for some reason now seems the right time to do it. I tried to look back at old blog posts and see what I had mentioned about them before, but didn’t find much. Maybe it’s been on Facebook that I’ve mentioned a bit about them.

Anyway, here’s the story. I hope it encourages those who read it somehow.

It started almost two years ago in April of 2013.

No, actually it started before that: in September of 2011 (my junior year of college). We had a visiting chapel speaker who was talking about being a slave of Christ, and the Holy Spirit was really challenging me and convicting me through his sessions. That same month, someone was selling handmade beaded jewelry on campus to help raise money for people in Africa. I had bought a simple black and white choker necklace.

As I thought and prayed about what God was reminding me of through the chapel speaker, I wanted to wear some physical reminder of Christ’s call on my life. So I started wearing the necklace each day, and it helped keep the choice to live my life as Christ’s slave in the forefront of my mind. But within a couple months, I had lost the necklace. I would guess it slipped off as I was walking across campus. I was disappointed at the loss, but life went on.

God had been teaching me and reminding me of so many things in college, following the spiritual revival He worked in my life in my third semester. Ever since August of 2011, one of those lessons had been about His love—especially in light of 1 John 4. You can read more about it here.

Fast forward to April 2013, my last semester of college. One of our campus ministries hosted an even featuring ballet dancing and some testimonies to help raise awareness about sexual trafficking. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but it took me back to the lesson of love, and I felt God calling me to live my life post-graduation intentionally loving others. Again, there was jewelry for sale, and so I bought a woven bracelet with pink and yellow flowers on a blue background as a reminder. I prayed that I would be a vessel of God’s love to those around me.

Bracelet #1: LOVE, 1 John 4 (esp. vs. 18) & John 13:34-35 – April 2013

After graduation, I had a couple of weeks at home before heading back up to Arkansas to join a missions trip from JBU to Northern Ireland. While there, we partnered with the local Youth for Christ in a small town running a VBS for the kids and doing other kid-focused ministry. We had a great team, and I still look back on that month as a special time. God knit our hearts together and to the kids in a unique way, and it was a blessing to be a part of that. I could see the seed of love growing and bearing fruit—certainly not perfectly, but it was there.

During our time there, we gals on the team twice invited the girls from the area to come hang out with us. In our preparation ahead of time, we had decided to make friendship bracelets with the girls. Trying to get 10 girls simultaneously set up for that activity was rather trying for my personality, and I ended up allowing it to put me in a bad mood. Later that night as I sat outside praying through some things, God reminded me that the character trait we had been teaching at VBS that morning was humility. The evening had clearly shown me that I needed the Holy Spirit to work the things we were covering with the kids in my life as well.

Later, possibly all the way in September after my summer internship, I took some of the extra threads from one of the girls’ bracelet that I had saved and braided a new bracelet. {Just this year I had to replace it, because it was a small braid and it wore out. But the colors are the same :)}

Bracelet #2: HUMILITY, Philippians 2:3 – June/Sept 2013

Things didn’t go the way I had expected between June and September. The internship I had thought I would love proved a lot more challenging; the job offer I assumed I would want didn’t come through after all. So I found myself back home with no definite prospects….until a door opened to come to Uganda for a short-term opportunity that could turn into something more permanent.

I liked wearing my bracelets as reminders. It made me think of the altars that God instructed the Israelites to build so that they would remember God’s work in their lives. So even before departing, I looked forward to making another bracelet in Uganda.

Within a few weeks, I was at work on one – in the colors and pattern of the Ugandan flag. This time the lesson was service and sacrifice. It has not been an easy lesson at all. I say “has” because I am still learning it. It didn’t take me long to realize that I need these reminders precisely because the lessons keep coming back around in circles. I haven’t “completed” any one of these goals—but I trust God that He is continuing to work these in me.

Bracelet #3: SERVICE/SACRIFICE, John 12:24-26 – Jan/Feb 2014

My time in Uganda was hard in deeper ways that I had thought it would be. By the time my commitment ended in May, I was so ready to return home. But at the same time, I looked forward to the offered opportunity to come back in a different capacity. As I left, I sensed that my next bracelet altar would be joy, that God would give me opportunity to delight in Him.

I made the bracelet during the drive back from Colorado after my brother’s graduation, a pink and purple square knot pattern, with tan thread as the unseen center. I hadn’t planned that, but later on reflection I could see a correlation. Joy does not mean there are no disappointing/challenging/blah times (like the tan threads). But it does mean that we can choose to focus on the joy that we can have in Christ, even in the midst of the hard times.

Unfortunately, this lesson is not one I lived out well in the following months. I tried to stuff the hardships rather than dealing with them. And stuffing doesn’t bring true joy, it just delays the healing. This was a choice I made, to push God away and to try and find “joy” (the fake sort) in the gratification of my more fleshly desires. And it is something I have had to repent of these last couple months. But thanks be to God for His grace & faithfulness in spite of my weakness!

Bracelet #4: JOY, Nehemiah 8:10 and Psalm 51:12 – May/June 2014

A couple months later, as I started getting in gear to return to Uganda, I wrestled some with what I would be giving up in the process. My hungering desire for a “real job,” one in line with what I studied and one which actually provided an income, nearly stumbled me one weekend. But in the process I realized that I knew nothing of sacrifice.

It was also a renewed call to trust in God’s faithfulness. This was, like love, not something new. It has been a recurring theme for me ever since that same summer of 2011. A lot of my blog posts on here have dealt with it in one way or another. But I am learning that it is one thing to agree intellectually that God is faithful and that I can trust Him. It is another thing to live it out in the daily walk of life.

And so, I spent several hours knotting a more complicated bracelet – often praying as I did so. It features orange fish swimming in a river of various blues.

Bracelet #5: TRUST & FAITH, Psalm 73:28 – August 2014

Coming back to this beautiful country was exciting, especially getting to see again the friends I had made before! Of course, it also brought with it a fair share of challenges. The biggest one has been gaining a more God-centered perspective (in contrast to Me-centered) regarding some of the events of my life—especially because that has often meant needing to take responsibility for the me-centered choices I had made at the time.

In the process, it is easy for me to start berating myself mentally for my shortcomings and mistakes. To hold that guilt and failure over my own head. When I turn to Christ in repentance, I found myself met each time with His acceptance and love and grace. I am learning that for Him, the past is the past. He does not impute my iniquities against me (Romans 4:8).

And so, when I have placed my past sins under the blood of Christ, I am FREE from that guilt! Not always immediately freed from the results of them, but there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1). Because of this, I can have hope for the future rather than being bound by the past.

These things came together into my most recent bracelet, an orange zigzag surrounded by light shades of yellow and green. As I was making it on a car ride down to Kampala, my fellow travelers were discussing the difference between guilt and conviction. I couldn’t help but smile at God’s timing!

Bracelet #6: FREEDOM & HOPE, John 8:34-36 & Romans 5:5
 – Jan/Feb 2015

So that brings my bracelet story up to date! Looking back, I can see that for much of this time (especially June 2013-May 2014) I have been trying to fulfill these lessons in my own strength. Which is rather arrogant and honestly just silly! In the last couple months, God has been reminding me that I am called to be His disciple, and to serve for His glory and His kingdom—not my own. It has been a timely lesson, and I am so thankful to know that He will continue the good work of transformation which He has begun in my life!

And so the journey continues :)

The Refiner’s Fire

{I just wrote this in my journal this morning, but felt I should share it here too. It’s all by His grace. Without Him, I am nothing.}

It’s been a month now since Jill fell and broke her arm. And it has been a hard, hard month. Of course there have been good moments and times when I have felt God’s blessings….but most of the time I have been stressed and/or frustrated.

I know that’s not the right response. I know I’ve got to trust GOD to work all things for Good and to {help me} live each moment righteously through Him….but my flesh so so so easily takes charge, I try to do it on my own, and I usually end up so angry that I’m nearly shaking {when things go wrong, when things happen that are outside of my control}.

Abba Father! I come to You because there is nowhere else to go. Abba, if there’s one thing I’m being confronted with every day here, it is that I am not in control. Father, I confess that my hunger for control is sin. It’s pride. It’s evidence of a failure to trust You.

God, I spent months {last year} asking You to break me, to strip away everything from my life that was not of You. I can feel the heat of the fire, Refiner of my soul. I can feel it and I want so badly to run away, to escape it.

Abba Father! Please don’t let me go! Please don’t let me pull away from Your sanctifying grasp. Abba, I beg You, please keep me – no, please make me to be humble and soft before You, my Master and my King of Glory.

For God, You are Good! And Father, I am thankful. Even though my flesh quivers as I write that….I am thankful to You. I thank You and praise You for Your grace, Your patience with my frail stumblings.

Jesus, You are the Christ. You alone have eternal life. And so, no matter what, help me soul to trust in You.

There is nowhere else—no one else to whom—I would rather turn.

Satisfy me in every moment with Your love, Your peace, Your grace. May Your indestructible Joy be my only strength.

For Your glory alone.

                Amen.

{As I finish typing this in and prepare to get ready for the day, I don’t want to leave this moment, this place of my soul. Because I know that there will be trials and temptations in this day, probably before I even reach the office and get this posted before starting work. And I forget so easily! But those next steps of physical life must be taken, and it’s an opportunity to trust God and to put my faith into practice. That’s how our Creator made life work. But He is also always there to turn to in prayer each moment. Live through me, Abba.}

Whence Cometh Strength?

"The JOY of the LORD is your STRENGTH" - just saw that verse in a friend's FB photo, and it fits....so very well. Because it's true.

It's so easy to focus on the things that can drag us down. I've had a scratchy throat all afternoon. I hurt my ankle some again. But if that's where I choose to fix my eyes, I'll miss out big time.

The Joy of the Lord. What is the joy of the Lord? It's an easy answer in some ways. God created a world which, though it is now marred by sin, is still amazingly beautiful. The joy of the Lord can be seen in the butterfly feasting on the flowers outside of our dining hall. His joy shines in the happy voices of children and the glowing smile of the youngest Institute kid.

Of course, it's more than that too. The joy of the Lord is evident in every one of our lives when we remember to see it. He takes joy in Himself, and He takes joy in the work He does in our lives. He is overjoyed every time we look to Him. And He is always there for us, no matter how many times we've tried to live life on our own.

That verse, often quoted without reference to its context, comes from Nehemiah 8. The people of God had just been led into a time of repentance by God's servants Ezra and Nehemiah, and they were burdened by their sin. They had just heard God's law read to them, and they saw how far short they had fallen.

"Then he said to them, 'Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.'"

God had restored His people from exile into Jerusalem. They had just rebuilt the walls, and they had hearts and ears ready to hear anew God's commands and expectations. He worked in their lives, and He gave them His joy as their strength to move forward in repentance and revival. Notice that this joy came when they humbled themselves, placing their lives under the authority of their holy King.

Isn't our God marvelously gracious? :) All praise & glory to Him.

Love and Joy

A lot has happened since my last post. It was a challenging last six weeks of the semester, but at the same time it was a time of learning and growing and being blessed by God. I am so very grateful for those weeks. So here’s an explanation of what I mean. Hopefully in the next couple weeks I will be able to back up and blog about what God taught me earlier in the semester too.

The first couple weeks after Spring Break were filled with the usual ups and downs of life. Then, on April 18 as I was working in the library an old friend started chatting with me on Facebook. She told me that our mutual friend’s boyfriend had died in a private plane crash that evening. My attitude took a nose dive with that information. It was the third time this semester that a young man I know has suddenly died. As that realization sunk in, I felt weighed down, depressed, and fearful. Never before had I been so aware of death’s blow, and I worried where it might strike next.

On Wednesday the 20^th it was still weighing heavily on my mind, combined with other things too. I posted on my Facebook: “I'm tired. Tired in body, mind, spirit, the whole deal. I am so ready for this week, this semester to be over. And yet there's two more days. There's 2.5 more weeks. And even then, life won't necessarily get any easier. Lord God, please show me how to live in Your strength. Teach me to trust and rest in You. 2 Cor. 4:16-18.” I felt overwhelmed and just wanted to be done with everything.

Due to a variety of factors, I felt what I really needed was a good cry. I went out to the prayer room in the Walker student center. Sitting in the dark on the floor by a small cross, I sobbed for a while, trying to pray—trying to make sense of how I was feeling and why this was happening. As I sat there I asked God to send His peace because otherwise I knew I couldn’t make it through the day. Almost immediately, my sobbing stopped. My prayer was answered. I continued sitting there for a few moments reflecting & worshipping.

After I went back to my room, I updated my status: “His grace is sufficient. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Praise be to His name.” I also included a quote from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: ‎"Trials never end, of course. Unhappiness and misfortune are bound to occur as long as people live, but there is a feeling now, that was not here before, and is not just on the surface of things, but penetrates all the way through: We've won it. It's going to get better now. You can sort of tell these things."

The next day was Maundy Thursday, so in chapel we had a Tenebrae service. Afterward, I went back to my room and did some journaling. “There’s so very much I take for granted,” I wrote. “Sometimes the curtain is pulled aside and I get a glimpse of the bigger picture, putting things into perspective. But it’s so easy to turn from that window and focus on the snow globe of my life, with all the minor details and the flurry of my life—typically created by me.”

I then felt a call to surrender my hopes/dreams/expectations of life to God—to submit myself more fully to His plan for my life. After spending some time praying through that, I was flooded with a feeling of joy, more than I ever had been before. I hadn’t realized I was missing out on joy in my life until it came pouring in. Thus, my Easter weekend was a good time of relaxation and peace, unlike last year when I had been super stressed and very tempted not to even go to church.

The next Saturday, the 30^th, God gave me another time of wonderful communion with Him. I felt called to go out to the hundred stairs at 9:30 or so. It was dark, but the weather was nice. I was able to just spend time worshipping and resting in Him. I felt wrapped in the arms of His love, and I felt beautiful in His sight. Again, I was flooded with God’s joy. Walking back to my room I wanted to sing and dance and shout and skip. I had a huge grin on my face – so big I felt a little silly.

Sunday the 1^st was the last Gathering. I went since the speaker was my Passion Group leader. The time of worship beforehand was particularly meaningful to me. We sang one of the songs I really appreciate – “Yahweh.” Later that evening as I again journaled, I could see how much God has done for me recently. Contentment. Faithfulness. Trust. Those are some of the lessons He has been teaching me. And then also giving me greater experiences of His love and joy than I have had before.

My God is amazing. I am so thankful to Him for this past semester. It’s been so tough at times—but I have learned so much. Through His strength, may I continue to apply it and live by His power and for Him alone.

As I wrote this post, a couple songs that played on my mp3 player really seemed to sum up this post: “Come People of the Risen King” by the Gettys and “Come Let Us Worship and Bow Down."