{I just wrote this in my journal this morning, but felt I
should share it here too. It’s all by His grace. Without Him, I am nothing.}
It’s been a month now since Jill fell and broke her arm. And
it has been a hard, hard month. Of course there have been good moments and
times when I have felt God’s blessings….but most of the time I have been
stressed and/or frustrated.
I know that’s not the right response. I know I’ve got to
trust GOD to work all things for Good and to {help me} live each moment
righteously through Him….but my flesh so so so easily takes charge, I try to do
it on my own, and I usually end up so angry that I’m nearly shaking {when
things go wrong, when things happen that are outside of my control}.
Abba Father! I come to You because there is nowhere else to
go. Abba, if there’s one thing I’m being confronted with every day here, it is
that I am not in control. Father, I
confess that my hunger for control is sin. It’s pride. It’s evidence of a failure to trust You.
God, I spent months {last year} asking You to break me, to
strip away everything from my life that was not of You. I can feel the heat of
the fire, Refiner of my soul. I can feel it and I want so badly to run away, to
escape it.
Abba Father! Please don’t let me go! Please don’t let me
pull away from Your sanctifying grasp. Abba, I beg You, please keep me – no,
please make me to be humble and soft before You, my Master and my King
of Glory.
For God, You are Good!
And Father, I am thankful. Even though my flesh quivers as I write that….I am
thankful to You. I thank You and praise You for Your grace, Your patience with
my frail stumblings.
Jesus, You are the Christ. You alone have eternal life. And
so, no matter what, help me soul to
trust in You.
There is nowhere else—no
one else to whom—I would rather turn.
Satisfy me in every moment with Your love, Your peace, Your
grace. May Your indestructible Joy be
my only strength.
For Your glory alone.
Amen.
{As I finish typing this in and prepare to get ready for the
day, I don’t want to leave this moment, this place of my soul. Because I know
that there will be trials and temptations in this day, probably before I even
reach the office and get this posted before starting work. And I forget so
easily! But those next steps of physical life must be taken, and it’s an
opportunity to trust God and to put my faith into practice. That’s how our
Creator made life work. But He is also always there to turn to in prayer each
moment. Live through me, Abba.}
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